What’s so profound about Mindfulness as an agent of change is realizing how much of how we are is unconscious and automatic. In relationship we can more readily see what’s automatic therefore unquestioned in our partner. This becomes quite relevant when our partner’s automatic habits are so different from our own and in some way disturbing to what we ourselves expect from our own automatic bias.
Just as a mild example: Doesn’t everyone know that you make your bed after getting up? Or what constitutes table manners. People have long standing behaviour habits. Those are probably not as challenging as living with the differences between partners in the arena of emotions.
How does each of you regulate your emotions, your energy, and your feelings of connection to one another? We are all bound to make some automatic assumptions based on our own way of operating. And we will surely tend to feel that our way is better!
Bringing principles of mindfulness into your intimate relationship means bringing the ability to be open, curious, and compassionate about differences. Knowing how much is really unconscious allows us to receive our partner’s awareness of our own habit with grace and gratitude.
Subscribe to Nancy's Blog
Nancy Christie BFA, CYW
170 The Donway West
North York Ontario
Certified Sensory Motor Psychotherapist Advanced Practitioner
Member Canadian Association for Psychodynamic Therapy
Member of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario
Clinical Member of the Ontario Society of Psychotherapists