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Nancy Christie Blog: Mindfulness Matters

What is Selfish in Relationship?

on Dec 14 by

There is tremendous value in caring for oneself within an intimate relationship. When we are grounded and content as a result of looking after our own needs whoever we are with will certainly appreciate our company so much more than if we are cranky and wrung out. When we are self-aware and take care of ourselves, there is more room inside to take care of others and to respond appropriately to them.

Simply observing our experience is the foundation of self-care. What to do and how to do becomes more easily self-evident based on self-awareness.

The more we neglect our own needs, the less energy we have to be aware of our partner and to give. Think of how difficult it is for the one that we love when our stress results in anger, withdrawal or neglect.

It is sometimes necessary to set aside one’s own needs to make someone else a priority. We know that we have done the right thing by how satisfying it is to give to another.

When we tune in to our own needs and respond we are restoring ourselves in the manner that is uniquely appropriate. Each of us is different in what gives us life. We can think of caring for ourselves as actually being ourselves.


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Nancy Christie

Nancy Christie BFA, CYW
Suite 404
170 The Donway West
North York Ontario
M3C 2J2

Certified Sensory Motor Psychotherapist Advanced Practitioner
Member Canadian Association for Psychodynamic Therapy
Member of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario
Clinical Member of the Ontario Society of Psychotherapists
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