Without realizing it, we enter intimate relationships both because the other person feels familiar and safe and also to heal the difficulties that we experienced in our original home. So the person we choose feels like home and then we try to get what we missed at home when we were young.
This is how to explain relationship difficulties on a nutshell. If each of you is trying to get what you have been missing all your life you likely need very different things. This could very well be the beginning of a long and drawn out painful relationship dance.
Couples who want to heal their relationship can grow to understand the need that is driving their partner’s behaviour. They can each become dedicated to giving some of what has been missing. However, there is another important factor for success. We must be able to soothe and care for ourselves in whatever was missing for us in the past. Mindfulness of what helps our partner, what helps us and how to care for our own needs is the complete formula for relationship success.
Subscribe to Nancy's Blog
Nancy Christie BFA, CYW
170 The Donway West
North York Ontario
Certified Sensory Motor Psychotherapist Advanced Practitioner
Member Canadian Association for Psychodynamic Therapy
Member of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario
Clinical Member of the Ontario Society of Psychotherapists