We experience the world and each other in a manner that is unique to each of us to some extent. For the most part we can agree on smells, tastes, sights, the feel of something on our skin and what a certain piece of music sounds like.
But early experiences shape what we attend to and how are experiences are organized in each one of us. This includes both hereditary and environmental factors. When a baby is born with more auditory acuity than the average person, they will process their environment more on the basis of sound than someone more visually oriented. A young person who was starved for touch will react differently to interpersonal touch than someone who grew up comfortably with physical affection.
Many elements of the family home in childhood will become automatic ways of living in adulthood. The body-mind will have made an adaptation to whatever went on at home. These ways will be a unique combination of body posture, body tensions, emotional patterns, thoughts and beliefs.
This is why learning about your partner in intimate relationship could be an ongoing and continuous process. We can assume that our partner is different than us and that there is plenty to discover. The mindfulness attitude is one of curiosity and openhearted inquiry both to ourselves and to the one we are committed to.
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Nancy Christie BFA, CYW
170 The Donway West
North York Ontario
Certified Sensory Motor Psychotherapist Advanced Practitioner
Member Canadian Association for Psychodynamic Therapy
Member of the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario
Clinical Member of the Ontario Society of Psychotherapists